Sacrifishal Season - 224
Hal Wastes His Wages
March 27, 2007
Some people take issue with my strict adherence to Lenten practices, citing other glaringly obvious dents in the armor of my pious devotion. But I see Lent as a sort of Catholic crunch time, the March Madness spirituality--a time to dig deep and take it hard to the hoop/halo. So if I can hedge my heavenly bets by skipping the chilidogs on Fridays, then so be it. Plus I really, really love seafood, so let His will be done.

Ever since The Vatican’s negotiators struck a deal with Fishmongers’ Local 157, the practice of eating seafood on Fridays during Lent has taken the sting out of the season’s sacrificial sentiment. As a wee lad, I fondly recall gorging on deep fried haddock and clams with a side of slaw at the parochial fish fry until I was sweating tartar sauce. In an effort to recapture those forgone days of forfeit and self-denial, I’ve made my pilgrimage to a few of Hudson County’s dining rooms in search of the Holy Grail of Lenten indulgences.

The First Eating

The first eating is an eating from the menu of Mike Squared to the Hobokenites (616 Washington Street, Hoboken). Their Colossal Shrimp and Corn Chowder is a meal unto itself, chock full of succulent shrimp and hearty potatoes and celery in a rich creamy broth. Be forewarned, there is the temptation of bacon in this dish, but the truly penitent will find the strength to eat around it.

The Second Eating

The second eating is an eating from O’Connell’s to the Jersey Cityans (111 Montgomery Street, Jersey City). O’Connell’s offers a number of their unique “cigars”—an elongated spring roll stuffed with savory filling. When fulfilling our “fasting” obligations, good Catholic boys can enjoy a shrimp and crabmeat cigar with a pint of Guinness in this impressive establishment named for the celebrated Irish leader who championed the Catholic cause in the first half of the nineteenth century.

The Gospel

This is an eating from the Book of Biggie’s (318 Madison Street). And it is good. The Biggie’s Fried Seafood Combo delivers a boatload of fried food that could quite possibly bring you closer to your Maker before you finish the meal. For the paltry tithe of $12.50, patrons can feast on shrimp, scallops, fried clams, fish nuggets, crabcake, fries and cole slaw. It’s the kind of meal that makes you want to thank God for the advent of deep frying, but halfway through you’ll pray you have the strength to finish. Odds are it’ll be 40 days and 40 nights before you’re hungry again.

With menus like that, you can look forward to turning your Good Friday into a Great Friday. After all, there are only two weeks left in Lent.

This column has ended, you may go in peace.

Thanks be to God.

(For those of you that find this column rather irreverent, my apologies. Maybe next Lent I can give up sarcasm and blasphemy.)

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